Sunday, June 27, 2010

Lunch With A Bird.

On a table for four i sat down once; times four, an attempt to find myself the chair that had the most shades in that hot hot day. A decent restaurant outdoor view facing the trees and the greens, very light music in the background, i think i pretty much confused the waitress who might have thought i was playing musical chairs with her. specially when i commented that I'll probably keep moving to the other chairs following the sun movement, the waitress laughed but i was serious :D



You know those kinds of feelings that hit you suddenly like electric shocks, like when you miss someone and they start to hack your head, a throb in your chest that bangs, comes and goes so fast like thunder striking a tree something you cant deny or avoid, yet you just cant put your finger on it.
...& i had one of those strikings!, didn't know exactly what it is but i knew it was associated with that phone call i make almost every time of my lunch hour.
A company that makes my food taste better, music sound finer and silence more meaningful... and hidden meanings laying underneath each breath inhaled and exhaled.



All settled down, with bunch of menus to choose from, it was the only day i knew what i wanted before i go but i chose something completely different. while i was sitting talking silently to everything around me observing details trying to paint with my heart the moment and capture with my eyes the view in front of me,
i go drifted with thought as usual, of how i have a sleeping painter inside me, that painter is awaken every time i see a nice view my finger long to hold a brush and smear some colours all around a blank page. thought about photography , and how close it is to painting i figured out its one of the reasons i like taking pictures is my passion for painting, even though i sank into thoughts, that striking didn't leave me alone.



I don't like to eat alone, but yet most of the time i eat alone, you can say i am pretty selective about who i spend time with, to me finding just random people i see everyday and meet them for lunch talk about whatever blah blah doesn't appeal to me at all for many reasons, first; i don't like discussing work stuff with coworkers while eating , second; I'm not the kind who likes the casual anything. i like to put a meaning in everything , at the same time i would welcome anyone who likes to talk to me or wants to join me for lunch or invite me for one.

but today despite the fact i was solo in a table of four, thinking about whatever may have caught my curiosity i turned my head and on the table stood facing me in the eye a tiny blackbird, it lingered there for quite sometime as if it was telling me to ask the waitress to hurry a little she was really late this time, i thought about calling her to bring some bread i was pretty sure the bird wanted some until the food gets ready.
the bird flew as the waitress approached the table, all bothered by fast movements of giant humans, it hid somewhere under the table, as my head was following the bird, the waitress asked me what i wanted and i told her the bird seemed to want some bread, and i would like to share it too, for the second time she laughed thinking i was sarcastic but i was serious!

The bird remained under the table, hopping from a corner to another, finally came the bread and the funny part was when the bird flew right on the chair in front of me.
the wind was blowing fast, everything flew off the table, but the bird stood there very stable and well balanced. i had some kind of admiration towards that bird. we shared the bread and a deep conversation and i find myself singing some song, i dug in my purse got a pen and a paper and wrote down while i sang along at that time the waitress came over finally with food, looked at what i was doing and i didn't need to wonder what she's thinking, she didn't laug and i pretended that it wasn't all serious!!!
the bird flew under the table again. striking thunder in my head this time, that feeling i couldn't avoid, i knew that bird wanted to tell me something i know it's him that i miss, even though we spoke twice that day. i grabbed the phone and called him.

even though i knew exactly what i wanted to say, but again i found me talking about .....the bird! and some silent conversation about random-specific things.
wasn't so long that i knew i had to go back to work, asked for the check, took whats left of the food the waitress was fast that time she probably got the hint i was in a hurry and probably though (oh-well a crazy customer!!!).
still on the phone, holding down the arms of the clock stretching it one minute later and few seconds later, i had go back to work...

leaving my winged heart and soaring mind flying around where he is.

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